Well, life threw another curve ball at me. I'm not sure how to feel about this one.
My coworker and I had been planning on moving in together in April. She recently changed her mind and decided that she'd rather live alone. This left me with only one option: moving back in with my parental units.
At 22 years old, I like to think--or at least pretend--that I'm a successful adult. I have a steady job with a steady paycheck. I've consistently been either a full-time or part-time student at a major state university for the last five years. I moved out of my parents house at age 19 and have successfully paid all of my rent, electrical, utilities, and credit card bills fully and on time. I have two cats, a rat, and a hedgehog that I spoil to death and get a thrill of excitement each time I feed or care for them. I love my parents to pieces, but it almost feels that it reflects something of my ability to care for myself (and my pet-babies) that I have to move back in with them. I mean, if I can't even live on my own, what will the doctors think of my capabilities when it comes up that I moved back in with my parents after three years of being relatively self-sufficient? I worry that they'll see this as an indicator that I can't take care of myself and therefore a reason to actively stop my transition, rather than a result of a lack of other options. Maybe I'm being paranoid, but every doctor on the face of the earth seems to be reluctant to assist the transition in any way, and I don't want to add fuel to that fire.
Granted, the fact that my bank account is reaching a threateningly low amount is a motivator for me to just suck it up and head back to the parents.
My parents have made it quite clear that as long as I'm their child, I am welcome in their house. My brother and my dad are thrilled about me moving back in, in fact. My brother, who is 19 and quite creative, announced last night that he was going to redesign the lighting in the basement for me, seeing as that's the space I'll be occupying.
Since I moved out, my parents have got custody of two more kids. The room that used to be mine is now my 19-year-old brother's, his old room is our 13-year-old new sister's, and our old computer room has been converted to our 11-year-old new brother's bedroom. I am being relocated to the basement.
I don't mind the basement. Hell, my brother and dad are so enthusiastic about this, they're planning on redoing the lighting and BUILDING a bathroom with a shower just for me! I feel incredibly loved.
Still, after three years of mostly independent living, it's going to be strange to live with my immediate family again. We have a mutual agreement that we like each other better when we're not all under the same roof. This could potentially be a recipe for a major disaster.
I came out as transgender after I moved out of my parents' house. I don't know how it's going to be with all of us living together with this new development that I'm still skeptical of whether or not they're okay with. I feel a need to weigh the pros and cons of moving back in with my parents.
Pros
1. My parents are both good cooks (I won't have to live on boxed Asian food and tomato soup anymore!)
2. Plenty of space for my cats to run around and play
3. No rent, electrical, or utilities money owed
4. I won't be moving in with someone I don't know well enough and then wind up hating them down the line because of awful habits they have that I wasn't aware of until it was too late to back out
5. Lots of space for my books!
Cons
1. Potential to clash over my gender identity
2. Longer commute to grad school of choice
Well...let's see how well this works. If things get really bad, I can always head for Antarctica...
No comments:
Post a Comment