New beginnings

Well, it's official. I've graduated from college with a bachelor's degree in literature and a minor in children's literature!

I got into graduate school for the library and information sciences program!

AND...

I'm jobless.

What a combination!

Technically, I'm not jobless until 1:00 this afternoon. Today is my last day at work and I've been holding back tears all morning.

The last few days have been a unique combination of elation and sadness. I f*cking GRADUATED from COLLEGE! I got into f*cking GRAD SCHOOL, which I have been stressing about for a year! I met somebody who's sweet and wonderful and doesn't mind my abject weirdness, and it may very well go somewhere!

The highlight of this entire month, really, was on Sunday. There was a small gathering at my parents' house to celebrate my graduation and acceptance into grad school ("small" being about 20 people--the REAL party will happen later in the summer, when my house will be jam packed with 100+ people who won't leave until the sun rises the next day).

I thought the high point of the evening was when my parents informed me that they had put ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS in my checking account!

But no. My amazing, wonderful parents one-upped even that phenomenal gesture.

Side story: When my biological mother was alive, she had collected Barbies. Not just any old Barbies, but expensive, collector's edition Barbies. When she passed away, all these Barbies went into storage. Over the years, they got lost track of and relatively forgotten. But not by me. I don't have many things of hers, because I never lived with her. I saw her occasionally, yes, but she worked, married, had two kids, and had a fairly active life. I have a few pictures of her, and a letter she wrote me, and a bracelet she made, but that's about it. So when her husband passed away and my parents got custody of their two kids, the subject of her Barbies eventually came up. I had asked my parents if they knew where the Barbies were or who might have them. They said that my birth mother's brother would probably know, but that they doubted he'd be willing to do anything about it because they were either:

a) in storage
b) lost
c) rightfully my half-sister's (my birth mother's daughter)

This was a major disappointment to me. But I didn't want to fight with my parents about this, especially since they didn't seem to think it was a big deal and I didn't want to be accused of making a mountain out of a molehill. So I've been mute on the subject for roughly a year.

On Sunday, after all the guests had left, my parents took me out to the garage and showed me the two boxes of Barbies that they had requested that my birth mother's brother bring over for me.

I was completely overwhelmed. I cried for most of the evening. I called my birth mother's brother to thank him, but I doubt he understood me through the sobbing.

My half-sister and I resolved to share the Barbies. We feel that we both have the right to them.

In the midst of this joy is incredible sorrow to leave a job that I've had and loved for the last four and a half years. I'm not just scared about not being able to find a new job; one chapter of my life is ending. A new one is beginning and I'm absolutely terrified because I don't know what's going to happen.

Well, as a last resort, there's always Antarctica...