Shopping is a pain in the @$$, yet again

Yesterday was splendid. I got to see Significant Other. We went out for chai at my favorite coffee shop, and he took me out for a delicious dinner, which he insisted on paying for despite the fact that I could have afforded it, seeing as I now have a job. Then we sat at home and giggled over the wonderful graphics of Hitchcock's Psycho.

The only hitch yesterday, which transferred to today, was when Significant Other and I went shopping for dress shirts. A family friend is getting married next weekend, and I fail spectacularly at dress clothes. Significant Other is very good at fashion, so he wandered through the men's section of Kohl's with me and helped me decide on a shirt. When we found a decent-looking one, I went to the dressing room to try it on.

(Note: the dressing rooms at this particular Kohl's are NOT gender specific)

Granted, I was in the men's section. That specific dressing room was occupied by males only at the time. But I waited patiently for an available room, and went in to change. I popped back out briefly to make sure that Significant Other was still going to be in the area, so that he could judge the shirt on me (seeing as I can't for the life of me figure out what actually looks good on me).

Another man happened to be entering the dressing rooms as I stuck my head out and called for Significant Other. The man did a double-take, backtracked to the entrance, and asked loudly, "Is this the men's dressing room?"

I scowled.

I heard Significant Other say, "Yeah, I guess...although I don't think they're gender specific..."

The guy shrugged and walked back in.

Normally, I'd ignore this kind of thing. But under the strain of everything happening lately, I thought that it might do more harm than good to bottle up my rage. As the man passed me on his way to his room, I stared at him and asked pointedly, "Problem?"

He wouldn't even look me in the eyes. He stared at the floor and muttered, "Oh...no..."

As he went into his room, I held up my middle finger at the closing door and hissed, "Douchebag."

I doubt he heard me, but a small part of me hoped that he did.

I wanted to rant and rave to Significant Other, but I held my tongue, for the most part. The subject did get brought up while we were in line to pay, and I mentioned that this sort of thing happens on a regular basis. Significant Other apologized to me, although he didn't need to because he wasn't the problem.

Which leads me to today. I regularly go through my closet and pull out all the clothes I don't wear very often. I did so this morning. Then, looking at the pitiful selection of clothing that was left in my closet, I decided that today would be a shopping day.

I spent quite a while deciding where to go. I did try Kohl's again, very briefly, before realizing that I still don't know what looks good on me and that I should not be allowed in a store that sells nice clothes without a shopping partner. So I resorted to what I usually wind up resorting to when I have no one to shop with: Hot Topic.

Being nearly 23 years old, and seeing as Hot Topic's primary customers are teenagers, it's not exactly an ideal place for me to shop. I wind up with 800 cartoon t-shirts in my closet and none of my paycheck left over. That store is f*cking expensive. But the other benefit to shopping there is that it is THE ONLY STORE I have managed to find where I don't get weird looks and comments when I shop in the men's section. Most of the employees know me now, at least by sight, and they're aware of my transition. They've been very helpful in directing me to clothing that covers up my ample chest and hides my curves.

The down side to this, as I mentioned, is that I wind up with 800 cartoon t-shirts. Don't get me wrong; I LOVE cartoons. Plus, the alternatives to the cartoon shirts are:

a) Twilight sh*t (which I refuse to let disgrace my closet)

b) band shirts (mostly of bands I don't listen to)

But the cartoon shirts make me seem even younger than I already appear to be. I mean, I went to the store the other day to buy some alcohol, and the cashier stared at me for an uncomfortably long time before asking for my ID. Upon seeing that it was horizontal, meaning I am 21 or over, he said, "I'm sorry. You just don't look 21."

Read the ID, dude. I'm almost twenty-f*cking-three.

So I'm not in any dire need of anything that will encourage this concept of me. Unfortunately, that's the price I have to pay: immature and expensive clothes vs. harsh judgement and rudeness.

I'm a MANNY!

My sense of humor has diminished lately, and I haven't wanted to publish a post in which I bitch and moan about everything awful going on, so I avoided posting for a while.

On a happy note, I have a job! I got the nannying job and I am LOVING it, despite the fact that the first thing Baby likes to do when he sees me in the morning is spit up on me. He also loves to smile and giggle when I change his diaper. I'm relatively sure that he's very proud of the fact that he made a mess and I have to clean it up. But Baby is a baby, and that comes with the territory.

Despite the fact that my abject insanity is now presenting itself to Significant Other, he still hasn't run for the hills. I don't know why. But I'm glad that he's still around. I can complain to him all I want and he doesn't mind. He also sent me flowers when I was having a bad day once. He didn't seem to mind at all when I freaked out and locked all the doors in the house because I thought I heard zombies in my backyard, and he was very supportive of me when I decided to go on an adventure without my GPS. Either he is very devoted to playing his role so he can eventually cook me for dinner...or he might actually like me, despite the crazy.

Little Sister has been driving me batshit insane. I've actually been physically ill lately because of the stress of her. We won't go into that because this will turn into a pages-long rant about my home life and how badly I want to move out.

The big thing lately, relating to my transition, is that Baby's parents found out about my transition. I had kept it quiet while being interviewed and trial running for the job, because I didn't know how they'd react to it. Also, my name has not legally been changed, so there would have been issues if I gave them my preferred name and it came out that way. But, thankfully, everybody is totally fine with it.

I'm a bit forgetful on a few occasions...so, a long time ago when I wasn't taking business calls, I changed the voicemail on my cell phone. If the phone goes to voicemail, you get a polite (I hope) recording of me saying, "Hi, this is Pete..."

I didn't think about this when I gave my number to Nanny Family. It didn't even occur to me when I got Nanny Mama's voice message asking me if I'd like to do a trial run with them. The issue only came up a few days later, when I was at the house and she subtly asked me if I had a nickname or anything else I'd like to be called.

I could tell that she was getting at something specific. I knew that lying would be pointless, so I laid everything out and said that I was perfectly comfortable with them calling me (legal name) and using female pronouns with me, if that's what they're comfortable with. Both Nanny Mama and Nanny Daddy went right to calling me Petey and using male pronouns.

I don't suppose I should be surprised, seeing as this is one of the most liberal and open-minded areas in the state. But I've said before, people can have pretty bad reactions when this sort of thing comes up.

I have to appreciate that I REALLY got lucky, working for a family who doesn't have a problem with it. They even laughed and joked that they get to tell people that they have a manny now. I'm very flattered. :) And proud that I also get to call myself a manny.

Home again

Well, I've officially moved back in with the parental units. My last few weeks have been a flurry of business. I got my cats declawed so that they could live inside at my parents house, and Maggie has been pissed at me for a full week and a half because of it. She'll still climb all over me and be obnoxious as hell, but she keeps giving me this glare that I feel says, "I hate you for having my fun scratchy pointy feet that I used to destroy the things you love reorganized."

There was an episode in which Little Sister took a book from my shelf without asking, very nearly causing me to break down completely. Luckily, I was able to go outside and smoke an angry cigarette to keep from yelling at anyone and entirely collapsing mentally. The fact that I reacted so strongly is probably the only reason I got the book back.

I'm still jobless. I now spend my days at home watching endless episodes of Doctor Who, reading like it's going out of style, and practicing piano until I'm quite sure the entire house is sick of it and wants to hit me if I strike one more note on the keyboard.

I did have a job interview a few days ago, for a nannying job with a family that lives very close to me. The parents seemed to like me (they clearly don't know I'm insane yet) and the baby that needs nannying is just about the cutest thing ever. This is looking good for me, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it will work out.

The best thing that's happened to me lately is that I met someone who thinks I'm beautiful and funny and smart and wonderful (I'm not sure if he quite realizes just how off my rocker I really am....) and we've made the relationship official.

Significant Other, who makes me happier than I've been in a very long time, treats me like I'm the most important person in the world. I still don't quite know how to react when he stops kissing me to stare at me and tell me I'm adorable, or is full of compliments for me, or insists on paying for dinner even though I asked him out.

One of the best things about Significant Other is that he keeps his word. For example, the other day, he and I were talking about Doctor Who. Oh yes, he is a Whovian and I love that about him! Anyway, we were talking about some of the most recent episodes, and I mentioned in passing that I hadn't seen any episodes from the newest season. A few minutes later, I got a text that said, "Okay. In about 2 hours I'll have them on a DVD for you."

I think I died from excitement.

To top it off, Significant Other and I both like a British series called Skins. There's an American version of this that I refuse to let disgrace my television. Anyway, we were discussing favorite characters, and I again mentioned in passing that I hadn't seen any of the most recent episodes, because Significant Other brought up characters that I wasn't familiar with. The conversation continued about characters we both liked, and I didn't think anything of it, until about two days later when I got a text from Significant Other reading, "Oh, by the way, I'm working on getting Skins on a DVD for you, too."

I never have to ask the man for anything. He treats me like I'm the most important person in the world, and he still insists that I deserve better than him.

I'm very happy with what I have. If there is better, I don't want it.