Dad: Did you hear what happened to your mom?
Me: No. What happened to Mom?
Dad: She got stung by a jellyfish.
Me: Again?!
Although, if you ask my mother, she'll claim that this was the first time she's been stung by a jellyfish, because her last encounter with a stinging water animal was with a man-o'-war, which isn't technically a jellyfish.
It's close enough for me to count it.
The last time she was stung by a jellyfish--or stinging water animal--was in my senior year of high school. She still has the scar to prove it.
I've commented before on my very stubborn aversion to beaches. So when my family and another family, who are very good friends of ours, took a vacation to Florida in the spring before I graduated the pit of hell that pretends to be my high school, a trip to the beach was inevitable. I stood my ground and told my mother that no force on earth, heaven, or hell could make me go to that horrendous span of sand and water. After a brief argument, which my dad ended by telling my mom that it was no good forcing me to go if I didn't want to, as I would only serve to spread a bad mood around, I was allowed to stay back at the house.
I enjoyed several hours to myself, having my version of a real vacation, which involved watching cartoons and reading Jane Eyre. I was rather disappointed when the rest of the group came home from the beach and ended my little personal vacation. The disappointment, however, soon changed to concern when I noticed that my mother was wearing a large gauze bandage all around her right arm and shoulder.
My concern very rapidly turned to amusement when the story of what had happened came out.
The group had arrived at the beach only to be warned by the park ranger (this particular beach is part of a park) not to swim, as the man-o'-wars were migrating. Many of them, in fact, were migrating right through the shallow waters of the beach. This point was emphasized even more by the numerous signs that had been put up all over the beach, all of which read 'No Swimming.'
My mother, dead set on a day at the beach, talked the others into finding a comfortable spot on the sand and sunbathing for a while. Soon, however, this wasn't enough for her. She wanted to go swimming. Despite warnings from my father, she managed to talk the woman who came with us, one of her best friends, into going into the water with her.
Everyone else watched apprehensively from the beach.
It wasn't long before my mom's screams were heard from the shore. She came staggering up onto the beach, clutching at her shoulder and arm, which were sporting huge red welts from where the man-o'-war's tentacles had wrapped around her.
Her best friend's son happened to be nearest when my mother emerged, howling, from the water. She managed to regain her senses enough to ask the boy to pee on her, and continued to ask as the boy got more and more uncomfortable.
As a nurse, my mother was well aware of how to treat a jellyfish sting. After being talked out of getting peed on, she was brought to the local Winn-Dixie, where she purchased some gauze bandages and ointment that she immediately applied to her wound. Then she was escorted back to the house, where the only thing I could think to say was, "Well, we're not going to ignore the 'No Swimming' signs again, are we?"
So when my dad informed me that my mom had got stung by a jellyfish--AGAIN--my immediate hope was that she had not ignored the 'No Swimming' signs yet again.
I asked what happened.
When I was told the story, I tried not to laugh. It was a futile effort, but I'm taking credit for making the effort nonetheless.
My family owns a house in Florida. We also own a boat. My parents had gone out for a ride in the boat, and my mom had found a nice spot that she wanted to snorkel at.
Aside from beaches, I cannot escape a vacation with my mother without going snorkeling. It's her second favorite thing in the world. Her first favorite thing is BEACHES.
After getting her fill of snorkeling, she was ready to get back into the boat. But first she decided to rinse her mouth out with saltwater (I don't know why she thought rinsing her mouth with saltwater was a good idea, even before the jellyfish entered the picture).
According to her, just as she filled her mouth with ocean water, she saw the jellyfish floating next to her. Then she felt the pain as the jellyfish's tentacles stung her.
My mom practically inhaled a jellyfish. She was stung across her chest, on her shoulder, around and inside her mouth.
My first reaction was to laugh. And then I remembered...
Ecuador.
