Significant Other is turning me into a geek on purpose

I've been fairly quiet lately, due to the fact that I've been insanely busy. I no longer work for Nanny Family (which is very sad, but it just wasn't working out). I'm working at my dad's hardware store again.

I worked at the store for about six years, and I absolutely hated it. My coworkers are fantastic and most of the customers who come in are both familiar and friendly. But let's face it. I know absolutely nothing about hardware. Folks, I have enough trouble figuring out how to turn on the radio in my car. You just can't expect me to fix your leaky sink or help you put together your own creation of a multiple-purpose swing set, leatherman, lawnmower, and dishwasher.

So I've settled for a job that I'm equally incompetent at: accounting!

Bear with me. There is a point to this.

I have no experience with accounts. BUT, instead of being normal like every other retail store in the WORLD, this particular hardware store originates from the stone ages or somewhere around there on a timeline. Instead of price scanners where all the information is neatly organized on a computer, this store has roughly 1,000-year-old cash registers where you punch the prices in by hand. And if someone has a store account, don't plan on going anywhere for at least an hour because you have to handwrite on a slip every item a customer is purchasing, how many of that item, the prices of each, the total of each, and a grand total.

The benefit to this is that floor employees don't ever have to worry about the account slips again. Because I get to deal with them!

I get to check the math on each and every individual slip, add up the total sales for each day, and then double check that total.

But wait! THERE'S MORE!

Then I get to file each and every handwritten account slip.

This

takes

HOURS.

It is not fun. It is boring, tedious, and particularly stressful when I have a lot of other sh*t on my plate. Such as, oh, I don't know...GRADUATE CLASSES.

To help me de-stress, Significant Other got me playing a computer game.

I have never been particularly thrilled by computer games or video games. In fact, way back in the day when I was a kid, some family friends got the brand-new NINTENDO 64! And we played Mario Kart on it. A LOT.

I was the one who always drove in circles until the race was over, or else repeatedly fell off the road into the lava or off the rainbow or whatever, until I was just holding up the game for everyone else.

Eventually, I just wasn't allowed to play anymore.

So now Significant Other has me playing Mass Effect 2. I've completely stunned myself by having something similar to minimal competency at this game.

I have also been playing nonstop.

Dude, I used to be SO COOL. I read books like it was going out of style. I worked in a library. I spoke two languages. I watched British TV and dinosaur documentaries. I would pretend to be a zombie or a pteradactyl or a werewolf. It was AWESOME!

And now I'm a complete geek over this computer game.

I know Significant Other did it on purpose.

Watch yourself, buddy. I know where you live.

Revenge.

The Political Convictions of an 11-Year-Old

Youngest Little Brother: I hate Obama.

Me: Why?

YLB: He's a bad president.

Me: Why do you think that?

YLB: He's no good at the job.

Me: What makes you think he's not any good? What don't you like about him?

YLB: He's got bad policies.

Me: Which of his policies are bad?

YLB: All of them.

Me: What's wrong with them?

YLB: They're bad.

Me: What's bad about them?

YLB: They're not getting us anywhere.

Me: Which policies aren't helping?

YLB: None of them.

Me: Why not?

YLB: They're bad.

Me: Which policies don't you like?

YLB: I don't like any of them.

Me: Is there one policy in particular that you have a problem with?

YLB: I don't like any of them.

Me: I got that, but is there a certain one you don't like most?

YLB: No. I don't like any of them.

Me: Can you tell me any of his policies at all?

YLB: They're all bad.

Me: Yes, but WHY are they bad?

YLB: They're ruining our economy.

Me: The economy was f*cked up before Obama got into office.

YLB: But he made it worse.

Significant Other (trying to be helpful): The economy is a few years behind the policies, you know. The economy won't improve significantly for a few more years.

YLB: Yeah, and it's Obama's fault.

Me: Not really...

YLB: Yes, it is.

Me: He's trying to help, you know. You don't get to be president and purposely screw over the country.

YLB: He's making everything worse.

Me: Think what you want.

YLB: Democrats are stupid.

Me: Thank you. I appreciate the insult. You know, the people you support contribute to the issue of me not being able to marry who I want.

YLB: Huh?

Me: I'm a boy. Well, I think of myself as a boy. And as a boy, I can't marry another boy.

YLB: Why not?

Me: Because certain politicians have enforced certain policies and actively tried to stop other policies that would allow gay people to get married.

YLB: Republicans don't like gay people?

Me: I wouldn't say that. Not all Republicans think that way. But a decent amount of Republican policies do slow down the progress the gay rights movement has been making.

YLB: Don't insult Republicans!

Me: Do you understand the politics of the people you support?

YLB: Yes. Democrats are bad and they'll ruin the country.

Me: But do you understand the POLITICS you SUPPORT?

YLB: Yes.

Me: Okay. Which policies do you like?

YLB: I like Republican policies. I don't like Democrat policies.

Me: Which policies do you like? Which ones don't you like?

YLB: I like the Republican policies and I don't like the Democrat policies.

Me: But which policies in particular? Name one.

YLB: Democrats are stupid.

Me: I give up.

How do I relate to this kid? *sad sigh*