Monday, August 22, 2011

The Political Convictions of an 11-Year-Old

Youngest Little Brother: I hate Obama.

Me: Why?

YLB: He's a bad president.

Me: Why do you think that?

YLB: He's no good at the job.

Me: What makes you think he's not any good? What don't you like about him?

YLB: He's got bad policies.

Me: Which of his policies are bad?

YLB: All of them.

Me: What's wrong with them?

YLB: They're bad.

Me: What's bad about them?

YLB: They're not getting us anywhere.

Me: Which policies aren't helping?

YLB: None of them.

Me: Why not?

YLB: They're bad.

Me: Which policies don't you like?

YLB: I don't like any of them.

Me: Is there one policy in particular that you have a problem with?

YLB: I don't like any of them.

Me: I got that, but is there a certain one you don't like most?

YLB: No. I don't like any of them.

Me: Can you tell me any of his policies at all?

YLB: They're all bad.

Me: Yes, but WHY are they bad?

YLB: They're ruining our economy.

Me: The economy was f*cked up before Obama got into office.

YLB: But he made it worse.

Significant Other (trying to be helpful): The economy is a few years behind the policies, you know. The economy won't improve significantly for a few more years.

YLB: Yeah, and it's Obama's fault.

Me: Not really...

YLB: Yes, it is.

Me: He's trying to help, you know. You don't get to be president and purposely screw over the country.

YLB: He's making everything worse.

Me: Think what you want.

YLB: Democrats are stupid.

Me: Thank you. I appreciate the insult. You know, the people you support contribute to the issue of me not being able to marry who I want.

YLB: Huh?

Me: I'm a boy. Well, I think of myself as a boy. And as a boy, I can't marry another boy.

YLB: Why not?

Me: Because certain politicians have enforced certain policies and actively tried to stop other policies that would allow gay people to get married.

YLB: Republicans don't like gay people?

Me: I wouldn't say that. Not all Republicans think that way. But a decent amount of Republican policies do slow down the progress the gay rights movement has been making.

YLB: Don't insult Republicans!

Me: Do you understand the politics of the people you support?

YLB: Yes. Democrats are bad and they'll ruin the country.

Me: But do you understand the POLITICS you SUPPORT?

YLB: Yes.

Me: Okay. Which policies do you like?

YLB: I like Republican policies. I don't like Democrat policies.

Me: Which policies do you like? Which ones don't you like?

YLB: I like the Republican policies and I don't like the Democrat policies.

Me: But which policies in particular? Name one.

YLB: Democrats are stupid.

Me: I give up.

How do I relate to this kid? *sad sigh*

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