Once upon a time, there was a stupid kid who let a friend of his crash at his apartment for two weeks, because said "friend" had been kicked out of his own home. This "friend" was an ungrateful prick who seized every opportunity to demean and belittle the stupid kid, did nothing but sit on the kid's couch and drink whiskey and watch TV and complain when the kid wanted to watch his favorite British TV shows, and added to the level of extreme stress the kid was already under. Finally, one day the "friend" and the kid got into a big fight because the "friend" accused the kid of treating him badly, when in reality the kid had gotten so sick of the "friend's" attitude that he had lost his temper momentarily. The kid grew a pair, kicked the "friend" out, and hasn't spoken to him since.
Guess what? The kid is me.
I think one of the biggest mistakes I've made is letting this person into my house for those two weeks. And real friends of mine, I can already see your eyes rolling. I know you're thinking, "I told you not to do it!" Yes. You did tell me not to. And I did it anyway. You have every right to say "I told you so!" and use this against me in the future.
I do this thing where I convince myself that a situation that's bound to end horribly really won't end horribly, and I go into it anyway. And then things really do end horribly and I feel even worse than I would have because I know I could have avoided it.
I knew perfectly well that Ungrateful Prick was not okay with my transition.
Seriously, I would have been able to handle anything else he threw at me. I mean, he was annoying as all f*ck but I felt bad enough for him that my giant, smushy heart would have won out and I'd have let him stay. But the fact that he continually insisted that I am in fact a girl did nothing but ensure that, when I finally snapped, he'd be out for good.
The moral of the story: stick with friends who won't walk all over you and insist that you are your biological gender and will never be your preferred gender
*Note: There will NOT be an encore of this performance.
There is little worse for a transperson than having all of your self-confidence and self-motivation stomped on like it's the least significant thing in the world. There is NOTHING worse for a transperson than having all of your self-confidence and self-motivation forcibly taken away and to be abused because someone doesn't approve of your transition.
I'm the kind of person who has to learn everything the hard way. I really wish I could tell you that my story is made up, or that my advice is merely being passed on by word of mouth. Unfortunately, I can't say that. But hopefully there are people out there who don't have to learn the hard way. Avoid those situations before you can get into them. Please. It will break my heart to hear that someone else went through what I did.
I can make light of my own situation, and take a humorous tangent with it, but this is one of the most serious sides of transitioning. The reality of it is that there ARE people out there who won't approve and never will, and your best bet is to avoid them entirely.
On a slightly cheerier note, I just found out you can watch dinosaur documentaries online! Most of my week has just been booked solid.
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